Me: Lord, I’ve finally come to the realization that it isn’t my job to make someone accept me, like me, “see” me, or love me.
God: Ok.. But if everyone in the world rejected you, would you still be okay?
Me: I mean…maybe.
It is easier said than believed that if people don’t accept you for you, that you’ll be okay with it. For as long as I can remember I’ve dealt with perfectionism, people pleasing, and the fear of rejection. Thank God He has helped me overcome my “Perfect Patty” syndrome, but my fear of rejection is new. The Lord revealed to me that I have a fear of rejection which is linked to my fear of being alone. (Tragic!)
This fear of rejection, the desire for man’s approval, and the fear of being alone has caused me to be in the most unhealthy relationships with both men and women – terrible boyfriends and terrible friends. This fear of rejection has also caused me to search for myself in others and seek validation from the approval of others. It has actually given me the desire to be connected to people who aren’t even supposed to be in my life long-term or at all. It has ultimately made my life more difficult, painful, and chaotic.
If this resonates with you, I’m sure you want a change. Not just a season of peace and contentment, but a lifetime. You want to live everyday not concerned about what others may say or think about you – but to live only for the approval of one, God.
“Do you think I am trying to make people accept me? No, God is the One I am trying to please. Am I trying to please people? If I still wanted to please people, I would not be a servant of Christ.” – Galatians 1: 10 (NCV)
The fear of rejection keeps us in bondage. When we are afraid of a “No” and are overly concerned about people’s opinions of us, it keeps us chained up, unable to go where God wants us to. It keeps us from becoming who God has called us be. We were not created to please others. We were created to please Him. I am convinced that once we realize that our validation comes from Him, the fear of rejection will disappear. It is time for us to change our mind-set about rejection.
Rejection is God’s protection. It protects us from strife and turmoil. Rejection is God’s redirection. It redirects us away from the things that could lead us down a path of destruction and directs us towards Him and His plan for our life. Could it be that rejection is actually a gift? An unconventional gift that throws us back into the arms of God and pushes towards our purpose. Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us. Rejection may not be such a bad thing after all. Yes, it hurts. Yes, you feel alone at times. Yes, you feel overlooked. Yes, you feel ostracized. However, notice that those are feelings. Feelings are fleeting and are not always true. The Bible tells us that we are never alone because the Lord is with us (Deuteronomy 31:6).
So recognize that you are a Child of the Most High. No weapon formed against you shall prosper, not even people’s rejection. It is not your job to make someone accept you, like you, “see” you, or love you. God loves you more than any human could love you anyway, and He has the power to make your life beautiful! You just let have to let people go and see rejection for what it really is, a gift.
” What blessings await you when people hate you and exclude you and mock you and curse you as evil because you follow the Son of Man. When that happens, be happy! Yes, leap for joy! For a great reward awaits you in heaven. And remember, their ancestors treated the ancient prophets that same way.” – Luke 6:22-23 (NLT)
“Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations.” – Jeremiah 1: 5 (NIV)
“You made my whole being; you formed me in my mother’s body. I praise you because you made me in an amazing and wonderful way. What you have done is wonderful. I know this very well.” – Psalm 139: 13-14 (NCV)
“For the Lord will not reject his people; he will never forsake his inheritance.” – Psalm 94: 14 (NIV)
“You should stop trusting in people to save you, because people are only human; they aren’t able to help you.” – Isaiah 2: 22 (NCV)
“If the world hates you, you know that it hated Me before it hated you.” – John 15:18 (NKJV)