Lost and Found: How to find yourself after you’ve lost yourself in someone else.

This is something that I have actually been learning about myself for a few months now. I’m currently healing, learning, and growing from a relationship that actually ended way before it “officially” ended. Nonetheless, the Lord placed it on my heart to share a little bit of what I have learned thus far.

I’ve liked several guys and dated a few, but my most recent one was much different than the others. I fell in love with this guy so fast, and we had only known each other for a few months. I honestly could see myself spending this rest of my life with him and never having eyes for anyone else. However, the relationship had a lot of ups and downs, so it ended shortly after we began dating. When it “officially” ended, I was distraught. I felt as though the pain was unbearable. I became depressed and cried all day, everyday. I was extremely hurt, insecure, and lonely. I had a ton of unanswered questions, and the thoughts just kept coming. I even found myself kind of angry with God and would say: “Ok God! Where are you?! Why are you allowing me to feel such pain? Why?! Why?! Why?!”

But one day, as I was crying my eyes out and browsing Pinterest attempting to be encouraged, I heard God say: “Mika, my daughter. I am here. I have always been here. Let ME love you and wipe your tears away. Trust me and remain hopeful. I have a plan.” In that moment, I realized that instead of God being lost and nowhere to be found. I was lost. I was so far from God, and I just needed to run back into His arms. My journey, or process, of moving on from my ex and regaining myself began, and to this day it can be a bit challenging. But, I can feel God working within me, and I constantly remind myself that God has something bigger in-store for me.

So! I’ve said all of that to tell you this… The first step to finding yourself again is prayer. God knows your heart, but He wants you to talk to Him, anyway. Prayer is so powerful! It changes things. The second step is to immerse yourself in His presence and promises. Read the Bible. Listen to praise and worship music. Tap into God and form a relationship with God like none other. The third step is to write. You can write in a journal. You can write poems or songs. Just write out how you are feeling, but also write (and recite) God’s truths. This is one of the most important steps because words have so much power. The fourth step would be to think about who you were before you met that person, who you are now, and who you want to be in the future. You were fine before you met that person, so why not be even better after them?! I know this was a big one for me. Growth is so important in life. The saying: “Change is inevitable. Growth is optional” by John C. Maxwell is so true. An important part of just being a person in this life is to continue to grow and develop into a better you! So, maybe right down your vision and what you’d like to accomplish in life. Plus, look at where you’ve come from that break-up just to encourage yourself to keep moving forward. I think the last step is to get busy. Get out of the house and do things that you enjoy, as well as discover new things. Take this time to kind of re-invent yourself in a way. It’ll help if you’re staying busy enough just so you won’t be thinking about your past relationship.

Remember that you were created for a purpose. As time goes on, you’ll find yourself again and discover things about yourself that you didn’t know before. The pain won’t go away overnight, but God will ease it. Just stay encouraged! Remain hopeful and keep your faith. God is a faithful God. He cannot fail and definitely won’t fail you.


Additional Inspiration:

“So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.” – Deuteronomy 31:6 (NLT)

“He heals the brokenhearted and bandages their wounds.” – Psalm 147: 3 (NLT)


4 thoughts on “Lost and Found: How to find yourself after you’ve lost yourself in someone else.

  1. I’m so proud of you ! Thankyou for sharing this . Knowing that God is using you to help us is amazing 🙂 look forward to more blogs

  2. Mika, this was beautiful and truly heart-filled. I can fell how genuine you are in your words and that makes thiPost all the more relatable! Continue to be blessed and to be a blessing to others!!!

  3. A sure testimony of what faith in God can do. You have been set free & no negative experience s or influences will be able to hold you in bondage again. Transparency is so powerful. It is the key to moving forward in life. Shine the light on the uncomfortable areas of our lives. They are not greater than God. Thank you for stepping out to take a chance to expose the lies the enemy & the world tells us. We are special in God’s site & He has a plan for our lives. #LetUsPray

  4. Awesome article! Remember, what we go through is not just for us. It’s to help other people and I believe that you are doing just that. Keep trusting God, and keep letting Him use you to help people all over the world through your writing. God Bless 🙂

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